Not Me Monday - The Dog's Revenge

So last week I told you (all three of you) about how I didn't forget the dog food in my trunk the whole weekend (She still got fed, don't worry! You can go back and read it if you'd like). Well, on Valentine's night she got her revenge. First, I'll tell you what happened, then we can discuss what I didn't do about it...

Jamie was awake all night long. Mark let her out at least twice. This is pretty unusual since, as a middle aged yellow lab, she needs her 17 hours of sleep per day or she's just not herself. On Monday morning we were able to piece the story together pretty quickly.

Seems that the two plastic gallon jugs of apple cider we'd been saving in the pantry had been fermenting for months. I'm no chemist, but I do know that when liquids ferment, they release CO2 gas (hence the bubbly in your beer and other drinks). The pressure inside the sealed jugs got to be too much and they burst that night. Our sweet, helpful (and always hungry) lab went right in and licked some of the mess up for us. How kind of her. In the process, she got a bit tipsy as would anyone who drank nearly two gallons of cider beer. She then proceeded to drunkenly stagger around our house and track the remaining cider all over our slate floors. So here's what I didn't do:

I did not laugh out loud at the thought that my dog spent her Valentine's Day like many American singles - alone and drunk in her living room. I did not swear under my breath (dangit did just fine thankyouverymuch) when I realized that I would be the one on clean-up duty. I did not simply close the door to the pantry for several hours and procrastinate on said clean-up duty. I also did not almost fall over when I finally opened the door to the (unventilated) pantry because it smelled like the trash compactor at a brewery.

Finally, it had not been so long since I'd last mopped that I couldn't find the bucket. And even if it had, I most certainly did not use a spare plastic trash can as a bucket. Nope. No way. Not me. :-)