Thankful Thursday - An Exclamation Point for Every Question Mark

Preamble

This one's a long one guys! I've written this post in my head dozens of times over the past year and a half. Like a lot of families, the past 18 months or so have been difficult to say the least. Without going into too much detail and ruining the image of perfection that my thousands of readers have of me (ha!), let's just say that the economy has been unkind. We're not out of the woods yet. And I kind of wanted to wait on this post until we were. That way I could tell everyone how great everything worked out in the end. But the truth is, life isn't fair and I don't know that it's all going to work out great in the end. So hopefully this post will offer a little encouragement to someone else who's going through a hard time. If not, feel free to click over to one of the many posts with adorable toddler pictures instead. Or click away all together. I promise you won't hurt my feelings.

Fair warning though... I don't have any real answers. Call me if you find some, k?

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There have been about a million books written on the subject of why bad things happen, why they happen to us, why they happen to "good people". Although some offer truth and solace, many are filled with platitudes and cliches. Some even go so far as to suggest that we attract only the things that we think about, and that somehow people who seem to be stricken by one crisis after another have brought it all upon themselves. I don't think there are really many good explanations out there.

If you're looking for a really good explanation for why bad things happen to good people, let me just advise you NOT to read to book of Job. This guy had it all. He was wealthy, powerful, had an amazing family and tons of friends. On top of that he was a fantastic guy in all respects. He was a godly man who acted with integrity and character, he was respected by all who knew him. And he lost everything. E-V-E-R-Y-T-H-I-N-G. All 10 of his children died. He lost his land, property, animals and was reduced to utter poverty. His extended family abandoned him for fear that his plight would somehow rub off. To add insult to injury, he broke out in horrible boils and became basically untouchable. The only people left who would even speak to him suggested that he must have done something wrong and really peeved God off. His loving wife went so far as to suggest that he simply curse God and die (which could have been a subtle hint at suicide).

This story is fascinating to me, in part, because of the way Job handles his troubles. For a long time he stays steadfast in his faith. He says that he knows he's done nothing to displease God. He doesn't even try to give an answer for all that has befallen him. He simply says the the Lord "gave and He has taken away." Finally after months (maybe years) of suffering, he cries out to God and asks for an explanation for his dire circumstances. The answer he receives is basically (and I'm paraphrasing here) "NO! Who are you to ask God about His reasoning? And even if I did tell you, all that would happen is that your tiny human brain would explode." (again, paraphrasing) Actually, the passage starts like this:

"Then the LORD answered Job out of the storm.(not usually a good sign) He said:

² "Who is this that darkens my counsel
with words without knowledge?

³ Brace yourself like a man;
I will question you,
and you shall answer me."

That's right, buddy, brace yourself like a man! These are words I never want to hear God throw my way.

Anyway, then he goes on to ask a series of unanswerable questions like, "Where were you when I laid the earth's foundation? Does the rain have a father? Who has the wisdom to count the clouds?"

My favorite portion says this:

¹² "Have you ever given orders to the morning,
or shown the dawn its place,

¹³ that it might take the earth by the edges
and shake the wicked out of it?"

After about two pages of this kind of questioning, Job's basic answer is, "Um, oops. Clearly I've made an error here. I didn't mean to speak out of turn. I'll shut up." Here's what he says:

⁴ "I am unworthy—how can I reply to you?
I put my hand over my mouth.

⁵ I spoke once, but I have no answer—
twice, but I will say no more."

God responds by going on for another two pages about all the wonders of creation of which Job was completely unaware. At one point He asks Job, "Would you discredit my justice? Would you condemn me to justify yourself?" Job concludes the verbal beating he just got conversation by stating that he, "spoke of things I did not understand, things too wonderful for me to know."

Eventually, as you may or may not know, Job gets everything back double. He has ten more kids (I suspect that this may also have worked as a punishment for his unbelieving wife). He gains back twice the land, animals, property and wealth than he ever had before. He lives his life healthy and happy and dies old and full of years.

*****

Taken at face value, I like that resolution. I don't want a "and they all lived happily ever after" ending so much as a "and there was justice in the world, everything was fair, and they all got what they deserved" kind of ending. Because I like to think of myself as someone who deserves for things to turn out alright in the end. We probably all do. But what strikes me most about the story of Job, when I really really look at it, is that his biggest lesson was that he DIDN'T deserve for everything to turn out alright. In fact, he was told that he didn't even deserve an explanation for why it wasn't turning out alright.

Job didn't do anything different at the end of the story than he did at then beginning. He was still righteous and just and honest and an all around great guy. He didn't do anything wrong to deserve his difficulties and he didn't do anything right to finally be released from them. He was just a guy, doing his best to have integrity, living through a troubled life in an unfair world.

And life is still troubling.

And the world is still unfair.

And I don't have any answers for that.

I don't know why good, honest, hard working men who want only to feed their families are losing their jobs while crooks and criminals are still "playing the system". I don't know why certain loving, selfless, stable adults try for years to have children while others who have made terrible, dangerous life choices continue to have child after healthy child who they can't or won't care for. I don't know why six women who I personally know have lost children - two just weeks before their anticipated birth and the rest within a few months after. I don't know why my own family's circumstances have gone in the direction that they have.

I just hope that like Job I have the strength to continue forward in gratitude. I hope that I can say as Job says in Chapter 13 "Though He slay me, still will I hope in Him" I don't know that things will turn out to be better in the end. Maybe I'll never know in this life the reasons for some of the struggles we're facing. But I have to have hope in One who does. I don't know what I would do if I ever let that hope die.

I got the title of this post from the chorus of a song called "Naive" by Chris Rice. If you don't know who he is, I suggest you do a little 'net research. In my opinion, he'd be called a poet if he weren't also such an amazing musician. It's obvious by some of his lyrics that Chris has faced some real heartbreak in his life. I'm always inspired when I listen to him that no matter how dire or depressing the subject matter, he is determined to turn his message to hope at the end. I think that's what a lot of us need right now. The lyrics to the chorus are:

Am I naive to want a remedy for every bitter heart?

Can I believe you hold an exclamation point for every question mark?

Can I leave the timing of this universe in bigger hands?

And may I be so bold to ask you... please hurry.

My favorite Chris Rice song is called "The Final Move". There are plenty of websites out there now where you can listen to a song the whole way through once before they ask you if you'd like to buy it. If you want a little pick-me-up find that song on one of those sites. My favorite part goes like this:

It was Love that set this fragile planet rolling,

Tilted at our perfect twenty-three.

Molecules and men infused with holy

Finding our way around the galaxy.

And Paradise has up and flown away for now

But Hope still breathes and Truth is always true.

Just when we think it's almost over

Love has the final move.

Love has the final move.

I'm pretty sure that I'll never get answers on this side of life for some of the insanity that happens in our little corner of the universe. But getting answers, or even making them up, just isn't my job. Although we have no resolution, no happy ending, no explanation for our current circumstances, I choose to believe that someone a lot bigger than me has the final say in these things.

At first, I wanted to wait to publish this post until everything had worked out. I wanted to tie it all up in a little bow so that everyone who reads this will have hope. Because if everything could work out so great for us....

eventually,

maybe it will for you too....

eventually.

But here's all the hope I have to offer: I'm not in charge of my circumstances, and you aren't in charge of yours. I don't even really have any good answers for why things are the way they are. But no matter if things work out better or worse than I imagine they will, I choose hope. I will believe that somewhere, at the end of all of this, Love really does have the final move.

And I will be thankful for that.